Second time
Honestly I cried my heart out when you knew I was around but you're not looking. It hurts more than the silence you kept between us. It hurts more than anything you could've imagined. You broke my heart and turned it into pieces. A simple 'hey' doesn't take a lot of effort, I suppose, yet, ignorance was what you thought the best for us. I have all my favourite songs played to make myself happy. I tried to ignore you too. But, all the songs seemed to annoyed me more. They spoke the words of my heart. The lines that remain unspoken. 'Cause, I know, even how hard I try to find the best words to say, you won't be listening. And I don't want to be the one that holds you back. Letting you go, seemed the best option even if it means, Im crashing myself - inside out. Its okay. I through before. Second time won't be a problem.
Posted on Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 11:31 PM
Dilemma
Part One
There's quite a lot of things happened recently. No major one but those lil things put myself in dilemma. Ive been thinking a lot. Been talking to myself. Picturing stuffs in my mind. I dont quite to know what exactly that I wanted. Crush. Love. Relationship. Islam. And Ramadhan is tomorrow. I want to make a change. A better change perhaps. But I dont know. I am so scared that I cant commit. I am scared of dont know what things that would wait for me in the future. I do not want to have myself in an uncomfortable situation where looking back wont solve anything. There is nothing to regret of course, yet, I feel there's too much in the list that I need to do. Sacrifice is one of them. However, I do not mind of doing any sacrifice, but, I think I need a motivation. Something that can boost up my confidence level to start my steps now and leave everything in the past.
Part Two
Been broken hearted twice aint something that is easy to endure such pain. The first one, had brought me to the memories, looking back to the moments which I could let it go now. However, the second one, I have always questioning myself about the future. Will it happen? Is it going to be good? Does he know about what Im feeling. I hope not. And I really hope one day he decided to stand up and tell me the ending or the beginning perhaps. I dont know. God, I feel like crying but there's no more tears left. Ive got to admit, when comes to this part, my tears would be the highest bid. They are expensive.
I would easily burst into tears if my dad scolded me, when I feel like my sisters would not want to appreciate me and when I miss my mom. But, I dont know why, I find it hard to let go when its the matter of heart. The matter of love.
Part three
I guess an empty heart with an empty soul, will just brought me sorrow. An empty mind without a single thought would crash me inside out. Please, I just need someone to guide. Someone who could help me out, show me the light. 'Cause, all I see is dark.
All alone with a dead end and no sign. Im stuck I don't know. I wish I could see a path that brings me back to life. One holds my hand and gives me strength. Dont let me go. Wait till I know I could stand on my own and I tell, you may go.
I keep showing others the spirits they should hold. No, I dont realise now Im losing control. Knowing there will be only me waiting at the junction, standing in the middle, thinking of which route should I put my steps on, looking around there are only woods and stones. I try to look further, but all I could see is just a blank paper. I couldnt bear the burden anymore.
But my tears aint coming. I guess Im still strong that I don't know. If you could see my heart and my mind, there's a lot of lines and words that you couldnt understand. I myself find it hard to define.
This is real and its happening. I dont just imagine things and create tales-telling. Like I said, I need guidance to bring me closer to Him cause I know Im not that strong as I seem.
Posted on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 2:35 AM
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
"For you I’d wait 'til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me"
One wish, I really hope that you will never find this. You shouldnt read this coz it will either break your heart, or mine. Naah, what am I saying, I doubt it'll break yours. Well, to start off, I couldn't sure myself that those words were meant for me. Either way, they made me sad. Worst feeling ever, yes. For the moment, I hate all songs for knowing my feelings better than myself. I hate everything. I hate the driving out. I hate the night sky. I hate the stars. I even hate the airplanes. I hate almost everything that I love before. Coz from my eyes, there's pictures of you everywhere I'd go. I don't know what's happening? I couldn't explain. I thought you're supposed to be the unintended. I thought you're just driving by. Never meant to knock the door of my heart neither to open the windows of my feelings. Yet, you went inside and remain, knowing that you would have to leave, made your way out. I don't know if its only for a little while or you'll never come back.
But, I would say, when you're making your way out, taking one step at a time - creating unintentional distance, I couldn't help the tears from dropping. I couldn't hold any longer. Coz, when you're gone, I couldn't deny the pieces of my heart are missing you. I miss the moments when you're right here by my side - when you look me in the eyes. Those moments when I caught a glimpse of heaven, my paradise.
Now, all the things I still remember, my days ain't gonna be the same. And all those days we spent out by the lake, has it all gone to waste. Knowing that, I'll try to make my steps too. One step at a time. Ive got to get a move on with my life. I do regret to have that thought of you would stand up and tell me something that I don't know. Something that could light up my world. Something that could make me smile. I thought you would do your part and I would do mine. Well, its just too late to think. Que Sera, Sera. I wish all the best for you.
Someday I know, I might say - reflecting now on how things could've been, well, it was worth it in the end. Even the years go by and the time just seems to fly, memories are but the only things that still remain. In my heart. In my mind. Thanks for everything.
Posted on Saturday, July 14, 2012 at 2:08 AM
Dear mama,
First of all, I just wanna say, I love you and I miss you, a lot. And, guess what, Im turning 21 tml. How time flies. How I wish you're here beside me, watching me turning into an adult. Turning into a lady. I urm, dont know what else to say. I just miss you, a lot. I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss your voice. I miss your eyes.
Posted on Sunday, June 10, 2012 at 3:45 AM
One Lil Miss Sombong
seriously annelis, what people said is probably right. you are one lil miss sombong. but, hey, sombong bertempat, salah ker? it is me. i do care about people around me, with whom i mixed with, i mean - my circle of friends. im sorry i dont quite prefer to be with bunch of idiot monkeys who didnt actually know how to behave. its the first impression that matters. you dont need to be loud, scolding all the vulgarities to show something. being polite is the best way. dont you ever heard that less is definitely more. alasan 'you're not from the town - you're outsiders who have just moved in' is completely lame. kata your mother is a lecturer, didnt she teach you the best way to behave then? may be you're one but, a disappointment to her as well. what a shame.
but to criticize people, i know and i realise that im not that perfect either. but, i do know how to behave. i do understand all about manners. and manners do not need a five star hotel to show it. you should bring it everywhere you go. that's how you gain respect.
and i guess you're big enough to think wisely, arent you? plus, you guys are not bunch of secondary school simpleton-jack ass, arent you? well, i might say the ugly truth is you were once one of em. that must be suck. its our history and our background that made who we are now.
horrible night,
one-lil-miss-sombong :)
Posted on Sunday, June 3, 2012 at 2:31 PM
He knows everything.
At times like this, I couldnt afford to avoid all the pressure that have been put on my shoulder. I always thought that I am just the girl next door, that would love to have every minute as a young teenage girl. I guess, I hoped too much for fairytales. Im twenty, and I need to think of another three younger siblings, my father and myself, I kinda think, this is kinda too much. But, who am I to judge myself. Allah knows best. He absolutely knows everything about me and I believe He wont test something that beyond my out reach.
Posted on Monday, May 21, 2012 at 10:46 PM
Damn these days.
Been through massively boring days. No exercise done. Didnt go out for anything. Staying home. Lazing around. Lying down, counting lines on the ceiling. Turn to the left, looking at the ants marched together - put a finger between them, seeing how they're breaking apart trying to find another way. Woke up. On the laptop. Keep reloading facebook and twitter when I have already knew there's absolutely nothing interesting. Damn these days.
Posted on at 8:21 PM
Second time
Honestly I cried my heart out when you knew I was around but you're not looking. It hurts more than the silence you kept between us. It hurts more than anything you could've imagined. You broke my heart and turned it into pieces. A simple 'hey' doesn't take a lot of effort, I suppose, yet, ignorance was what you thought the best for us. I have all my favourite songs played to make myself happy. I tried to ignore you too. But, all the songs seemed to annoyed me more. They spoke the words of my heart. The lines that remain unspoken. 'Cause, I know, even how hard I try to find the best words to say, you won't be listening. And I don't want to be the one that holds you back. Letting you go, seemed the best option even if it means, Im crashing myself - inside out. Its okay. I through before. Second time won't be a problem.
Posted on Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 11:31 PM
Dilemma
Part One
There's quite a lot of things happened recently. No major one but those lil things put myself in dilemma. Ive been thinking a lot. Been talking to myself. Picturing stuffs in my mind. I dont quite to know what exactly that I wanted. Crush. Love. Relationship. Islam. And Ramadhan is tomorrow. I want to make a change. A better change perhaps. But I dont know. I am so scared that I cant commit. I am scared of dont know what things that would wait for me in the future. I do not want to have myself in an uncomfortable situation where looking back wont solve anything. There is nothing to regret of course, yet, I feel there's too much in the list that I need to do. Sacrifice is one of them. However, I do not mind of doing any sacrifice, but, I think I need a motivation. Something that can boost up my confidence level to start my steps now and leave everything in the past.
Part Two
Been broken hearted twice aint something that is easy to endure such pain. The first one, had brought me to the memories, looking back to the moments which I could let it go now. However, the second one, I have always questioning myself about the future. Will it happen? Is it going to be good? Does he know about what Im feeling. I hope not. And I really hope one day he decided to stand up and tell me the ending or the beginning perhaps. I dont know. God, I feel like crying but there's no more tears left. Ive got to admit, when comes to this part, my tears would be the highest bid. They are expensive.
I would easily burst into tears if my dad scolded me, when I feel like my sisters would not want to appreciate me and when I miss my mom. But, I dont know why, I find it hard to let go when its the matter of heart. The matter of love.
Part three
I guess an empty heart with an empty soul, will just brought me sorrow. An empty mind without a single thought would crash me inside out. Please, I just need someone to guide. Someone who could help me out, show me the light. 'Cause, all I see is dark.
All alone with a dead end and no sign. Im stuck I don't know. I wish I could see a path that brings me back to life. One holds my hand and gives me strength. Dont let me go. Wait till I know I could stand on my own and I tell, you may go.
I keep showing others the spirits they should hold. No, I dont realise now Im losing control. Knowing there will be only me waiting at the junction, standing in the middle, thinking of which route should I put my steps on, looking around there are only woods and stones. I try to look further, but all I could see is just a blank paper. I couldnt bear the burden anymore.
But my tears aint coming. I guess Im still strong that I don't know. If you could see my heart and my mind, there's a lot of lines and words that you couldnt understand. I myself find it hard to define.
This is real and its happening. I dont just imagine things and create tales-telling. Like I said, I need guidance to bring me closer to Him cause I know Im not that strong as I seem.
Posted on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 2:35 AM
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
"For you I’d wait 'til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me"
One wish, I really hope that you will never find this. You shouldnt read this coz it will either break your heart, or mine. Naah, what am I saying, I doubt it'll break yours. Well, to start off, I couldn't sure myself that those words were meant for me. Either way, they made me sad. Worst feeling ever, yes. For the moment, I hate all songs for knowing my feelings better than myself. I hate everything. I hate the driving out. I hate the night sky. I hate the stars. I even hate the airplanes. I hate almost everything that I love before. Coz from my eyes, there's pictures of you everywhere I'd go. I don't know what's happening? I couldn't explain. I thought you're supposed to be the unintended. I thought you're just driving by. Never meant to knock the door of my heart neither to open the windows of my feelings. Yet, you went inside and remain, knowing that you would have to leave, made your way out. I don't know if its only for a little while or you'll never come back.
But, I would say, when you're making your way out, taking one step at a time - creating unintentional distance, I couldn't help the tears from dropping. I couldn't hold any longer. Coz, when you're gone, I couldn't deny the pieces of my heart are missing you. I miss the moments when you're right here by my side - when you look me in the eyes. Those moments when I caught a glimpse of heaven, my paradise.
Now, all the things I still remember, my days ain't gonna be the same. And all those days we spent out by the lake, has it all gone to waste. Knowing that, I'll try to make my steps too. One step at a time. Ive got to get a move on with my life. I do regret to have that thought of you would stand up and tell me something that I don't know. Something that could light up my world. Something that could make me smile. I thought you would do your part and I would do mine. Well, its just too late to think. Que Sera, Sera. I wish all the best for you.
Someday I know, I might say - reflecting now on how things could've been, well, it was worth it in the end. Even the years go by and the time just seems to fly, memories are but the only things that still remain. In my heart. In my mind. Thanks for everything.
Posted on Saturday, July 14, 2012 at 2:08 AM
Dear mama,
First of all, I just wanna say, I love you and I miss you, a lot. And, guess what, Im turning 21 tml. How time flies. How I wish you're here beside me, watching me turning into an adult. Turning into a lady. I urm, dont know what else to say. I just miss you, a lot. I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss your voice. I miss your eyes.
Posted on Sunday, June 10, 2012 at 3:45 AM
One Lil Miss Sombong
seriously annelis, what people said is probably right. you are one lil miss sombong. but, hey, sombong bertempat, salah ker? it is me. i do care about people around me, with whom i mixed with, i mean - my circle of friends. im sorry i dont quite prefer to be with bunch of idiot monkeys who didnt actually know how to behave. its the first impression that matters. you dont need to be loud, scolding all the vulgarities to show something. being polite is the best way. dont you ever heard that less is definitely more. alasan 'you're not from the town - you're outsiders who have just moved in' is completely lame. kata your mother is a lecturer, didnt she teach you the best way to behave then? may be you're one but, a disappointment to her as well. what a shame.
but to criticize people, i know and i realise that im not that perfect either. but, i do know how to behave. i do understand all about manners. and manners do not need a five star hotel to show it. you should bring it everywhere you go. that's how you gain respect.
and i guess you're big enough to think wisely, arent you? plus, you guys are not bunch of secondary school simpleton-jack ass, arent you? well, i might say the ugly truth is you were once one of em. that must be suck. its our history and our background that made who we are now.
horrible night,
one-lil-miss-sombong :)
Posted on Sunday, June 3, 2012 at 2:31 PM
He knows everything.
At times like this, I couldnt afford to avoid all the pressure that have been put on my shoulder. I always thought that I am just the girl next door, that would love to have every minute as a young teenage girl. I guess, I hoped too much for fairytales. Im twenty, and I need to think of another three younger siblings, my father and myself, I kinda think, this is kinda too much. But, who am I to judge myself. Allah knows best. He absolutely knows everything about me and I believe He wont test something that beyond my out reach.
Posted on Monday, May 21, 2012 at 10:46 PM
Damn these days.
Been through massively boring days. No exercise done. Didnt go out for anything. Staying home. Lazing around. Lying down, counting lines on the ceiling. Turn to the left, looking at the ants marched together - put a finger between them, seeing how they're breaking apart trying to find another way. Woke up. On the laptop. Keep reloading facebook and twitter when I have already knew there's absolutely nothing interesting. Damn these days.
Posted on at 8:21 PM
about
Im no beauty queen.
Im just beautiful me.
I don't need a Guardian,
coz I am no Angel.
Cheesy words gonna melt me down,
sweet talkings will only build my walls higher.
Imma love you once and for all
when I put aside my armour defense.
'When I see your face,
tears run down my face;
The picture perfect memories you left,
scattered all over my mind.
And I cant just erase them all,
its just too lil too late.'
'Dan bla esok,
kita kan bertemu kembali,
Masihkah ada ruang di dalam hati mu,
Untuk cinta yang pernah kita miliki'
"Dan mungkin bila nanti,
Kita kan bertemu lagi,
Satu pintaku jangan kau cuba tanyakan kembali,
rasa yang ku tinggal mati'
Hey,
Say u love me
Say u miss me
Coz i believe it takes two to tango
archives
Previous Posts
Keliru diri ini. ♠
reply ♠
Stop Messing Around ♠
Second time ♠
Dilemma ♠
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me ♠
Dear mama,
First of all, I just wanna say, I love ... ♠
One Lil Miss Sombong ♠
He knows everything. ♠
Damn these days. ♠
Months
June 2010 ♠
March 2011 ♠
April 2011 ♠
September 2011 ♠
October 2011 ♠
November 2011 ♠
April 2012 ♠
May 2012 ♠
June 2012 ♠
July 2012 ♠
August 2012 ♠
December 2012 ♠
January 2013 ♠